


Selfish Creatures

by Miranda_tries_their_best



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, I can't really blame him though, I don't want to say Deceit is evil but he's definitely not a good boi, Imprisonment, Non-Consensual Kissing, Painful Shapeshifting, Past Torture, Pretending to be someone else, Shapeshifting, They think it's Patton but it's Not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2020-05-28 17:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miranda_tries_their_best/pseuds/Miranda_tries_their_best
Summary: He's a selfish and desperate creature, he knows this like he knows the scales and scars he's had decades to memorize while trapped behind the glass. He knows like the sharp and tight feeling he forces himself to endure as he shifts away all his monstrous flaws into a softer and familiar shape.It hurts to move but compared to the nothingness of his prison it only feels like a relief. The excitement of finally being free silences any quiet voice in him that tells him how wrong this is.The wrongness known as Deceit will be gone soon anyway.Soon he'll just be Patton.Sweet, darling Patton.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if I should tag anything
> 
> Some warnings that i wasn't sure how to tag:
> 
> Deceit is in constant pain while shapeshifted, shit hurts man  
>  Deceit replaces Patton completely and tries to be him  
>  Deceit can't move properly and i tried to make sound disturbing but it honestly isn't that bad
> 
> Lots of deceit warnings lol

He's a selfish and desperate creature, he knows this like he knows the scales and scars he's had decades to memorize while trapped behind glass. He knows like the sharp and tight feeling he forces himself to endure as he shifts away all his monstrous flaws into a softer and familiar shape.

Nails a sharp as knives dig into his fingers as he makes his hands look more human, his left eye goes blind and burns as the yellow dulls and turns into a warm brown to match his other eye, scales stick into his flesh like needles as he forces them to disappear against his flesh, only leaving behind smooth hairs and skin that burns at the slightest contact, his second pair of arms feel like they've been chopped off they disappear, making his torso ache with the bones that shift to match a humans. The monster's entire body burns with electricity as he shoves his entire form into a much smaller body.

It hurts to move but compared to the nothingness of his prison it only feels like a relief. The excitement of finally being free silences any quiet voice in him that tells him how wrong this is.  
He's suffered so many cruelties already, punishments for reasons he can't even remember. At least now he can be the monster those formless faces always accused him of being. He has already paid in full so let him commit this sin.

The wrongness known as Deceit will be gone soon anyway.

Soon he'll just be Patton.

Sweet, darling Patton. He would pray for the poor man but Deceit knows all to well that no gods can hear him while he's in this hell. The only contact to the outside is a mirror that views the empty room of a long since abandoned room, Deceit can't remember what outside the room looks like but he remembers fires in the halls the grew dark all too quickly as ash and dust gathered over his only view outside the empty gray area he floats in behind the mirror.

But then after so long of nothing, his dear Patton entered the room and wiped the dust off the mirror. Deceit had terrified the man, in his monstrous glory had slammed against the magical glass between him and the stranger. He filled the night with silent screams as the first person he's seen in ages fled from him.

The boy had returned though but was frightened again as Deceit tried to claw at the glass.

But he came back, again and again until Deceit was had calmed his desperation enough that he didn't attack the mirror at the first sight of movement. The creature could still hear the soft words and questions the man in blue asked but no matter how loud Deceit screamed, the boy on the other side couldn't hear him.

_"My name is Patton."_

Patton could fill the silence though, he visited the poor trapped monster over and over to just speak to him, to treat him like a person, helped him regain a little of his sanity.

_"A trader came to the village, mama bought me a fur coat so I can go outside more when the winter comes. I can't wait to build snowmen with my cousins. I'll build a snowman inside here too for you, that way you'll still have company when I'm gone."_

For some time, it was enough for Deceit.

_"I don't know if you really celebrate holidays in there but I won't be able to come around for a bit. Don't worry though! I made some decorations to hang up so you know I won't forget about you!"_

But after years of this, Patton started coming less and less. He came when he could but he had a family to take care of and be with. Deceit couldn't blame him, the monster would give anything to be in his shoes and never return to the horrible place.

He would also take anything.

Something Deceit learned years ago was that if Patton was touching the glass, he could touch Patton. In theory, he could grab Patton and pull him through.

_"Hey, Noodle? Are you in there?" Patton rests his hand on the glass when he could only see the gray. He gently tapped his fingers until the trapped creature appeared and rest its own hand where Patton's still laid._

_Patton jerked his hand back suddenly, feeling more than cold glass and instead smooth scales. He looked at the creature that stared at its own hand with confusion, looking back at the farmer with an expression of utter sorrow that broke that boys heart. He put his back on the glass with a small smile. "It's okay..." He whispered as his mirror friend place his hand back over his and found that the mirror gave way a little, letting Patton interlock his fingers with the monsters clawed hand._

_Patton stayed for hours that day, speaking quietly about nonsense while Deceit wept and held his hand almost too tightly._

He had planned this for so long, listening to every detail his friend on the other side gave him. Memorize each word for five years, it was frustrating how Patton continued to age and change but eventually, he seemed to stop growing as the boy he knew became a man. He devoted each word Patton said to memory, about his family, about his life, about the three that came and stole his heart.

  
_"I told you how the prince rode through town two months ago? He keeps showing up and trying to steal me from my work. He looks at me like something so precious... I-I think I love him. He promised that he'd get my ma's blessing and take me off to live in the castle."_

_"There's this scholar that came from a different kingdom, I think he might live in the royal library? I've never seen him outside it. He's so smart though, I've been trying to learn how to read and it's really hard but last week he came over to me and offered to help me. I don't feel stupid around him, y'know? Roman keeps using me as an excuse to go to the library now, I think he likes him too."_

_"Yesterday I was attacked by someone, I don't really know why but Roman insisted that I have a knight escort me places now. Logan recommended Sir Virgil and it's been so much fun having him around, he seems really cold but he's been warming up to me. My poor heart is at it again, I think."_

Deceit wanted it, he wanted the poetry Roman wrote and the songs he sang, he wanted to gentle reassurance that Logan gave, he wanted Virgil's quiet protectiveness and snark.

He wanted Patton's arms around him and soft "It's okay."'s But he'd settle for three of the four.

So when Patton arrived, Deceit hides himself in the mirror.

And when Patton tapped on the glass to get his friends attention, Deceit appeared and reached through. He dug nails into the man's wrist and dragged him in, and with a bloody grip on the farmer, he was able to drag himself out. "Wait, WAIT- LET GO!" Patton's cries fell on deaf ears, his pleading when silent as Patton was now trapped in the mirror and Deceit crawled out the other side.

Hysterical giggles bubble out of his throat as he collapses onto the cold stone floor, the chill soothed some of the burning as he took on his fake skin. The monster laid there for a short time, or maybe it was a long time as he had no way of really telling the passage of time. It felt like hours before he could build up what little energy he could but with shaky arms, Deceit managed to sit himself up, body swaying as he was just barely able to keep balance.

The monster turned his head sharply, staring wide eyed at his former prison. Patton banged against the glass, mouth moving but Deceit was unable to hear him. It was a pitiful sight, someone he had cherished so much now had wide brown eyes full of tears and terror. Deceit must have really been a monster because, despite the ache in his heart, he was still smiling.

"If it's worth anything..." The monster wearing a copy of his friend's skin spoke so quietly but had no doubt the man could hear him as he knew how deathly silent the mirror was. "I'll take care of them. Thank you, Patton. I'll be sure to visit." He can grant that mercy to the poor man, the silence of the mirror will drive him mad.

Deceit's movements were unnatural and jerky, he wasn't use to having a body and every movement of this unnatural form sent pain jolting down his spine. He only barely remembers what he looked like before but he knew he was missing limbs and his legs felt wrong but he looked like Patton and he would be Patton so it didn't matter what that he wasn't anything close to human before.  
It took an embarrassing few tries to stand up and keep balance. His first step leads him to fall over as his felt like he was walking on shards of glass and while it slowed him down, it didn't stop him from getting back up and stumbling his way towards the open door that would lead to a hallway he remembers to be covered in flames, he caught himself on the frame of the door form and looked out, glancing at the crumbling hall of cold stone. He supposes fire never burns long.

He sent one last glance back at his old friend, head tilting back at an awkward angle that made his bones crack as he stared into tear filled eyes.  
He could almost feel bad but it did nothing to stop him from leaving. The former monster used the wall for balance as he heads towards the light that shown through a collapsed area, all his pity for his former friend was washed away with awe as he saw sunlight for the first time in his memory.


	2. Chapter 2

Roman found himself riding through the forest on his most trusted mare, Majesty, taking him deep into the woods until the foliage became too dense for her to trot through. The prince wasn't entirely sure where he was going, the last time he went to the abandoned fortress was nearly ten years ago when he was young thought he could find lost treasure, so all he really had was Virgil telling him to go southeast.

He wishes he had accepted the knights offer to go with him but Roman needed to apologize on his own.

It's all because of a stupid fight between him and his beloved nerd but Roman always seems to take things farther then they need to go, and his sweet Patton, bless his heart, tried to stop it but Roman, being the absolute moron that he is only directed his anger at the poor farmer. It had taken an hour before the anger that raged under his skin only calmed, long after Patton had already left him alone and apparently retreated from the castle altogether, Logan held Roman back from chasing after him. All of them knew that Patton would rather be alone when upset, sneaking off to who knows where.

His heart would disappear for a few hours into the woods and then return and they would talk things out like rational adults. This time Patton didn't return that night though, which had never happened before. Logan, the rational one of them all assured them that Patton was likely fine but encouraged Roman to look for him in case he had gotten lost.

Roman had prepared to head off in a random direction but luckily Virgil managed to catch him before he ran off because apparently, Virgil knew where.

"Go to that old place, the uh... That fortress to the southeast. Patton always sneaks off to there, the place is falling apart though, he- he could be hurt or trapped or-"

Roman silenced his storm with a kiss before climbing on Majesty. "I'll bring him back, my knightmare."

"Maybe- Princey I should go with you. You'll probably stub your toe on a root and need saving." Virgil looked just about ready to grab his own mare and ditch Roman to go rescue their love himself but Roman assured him that it would be fine.

Heavens knows Logan will work himself into the ground if someone isn't here to limit him.

So Roman lead his loyal mare to a small stream and head deeper into the woods on foot, sword at the ready as a sense of... Wrongness settled deep in his bones. His gut feeling was normally on point so he figured that meant he was heading in the right direction but it didn't provide any comfort, only proving him right as he found himself standing in front of the ruins of a once great fortress. The prince found himself distracted in awe of its beauty, despite its crumbling walls, it still stood strong and likely would for many years. It almost had a sense of magic to it, a strange feeling that Logan had taught him to sense when on adventures so he couldn't be caught off guard by it.

Roman found himself heading towards the entrance but quickly found it unnecessary as a large opening lead into the castle, so distracted by the fortresses glory that the prince nearly missed the footprints that lead both in and out. The man wasn't nearly as skilled at tracking as Virgil was but Roman could realize something was wrong, the way the tracks leading out of the fortress seemed to drag and limp all over as they head in the wrong direction.

Fear gripped his chest as he quickly found himself following the tracks, ignoring the small voice in his head that told him to explore inside first Sorry, gut feeling but Patton may be hurt and need him, he had no time to waste as he charged back into the forest, following stomped down grass and broken twigs.

If anything happened to his heart because of his stupid tempter, the prince could never forgive himself.

So he ran, only slowing down to glace at the trail. His heart was pounding in his ears, only drowned out by the thousands of thoughts of what may have happened to his love. His only relief is when he breaks into a clearing and sees the silhouette of a man, hope flutters in his chest as he rushes to him and sees the familiar fluffy hair of his darling heart.

"Oh, Patton!" He cries out. He plans to scoop up his love, shower him in apologies and search him for injuries before they return home but his finds himself skidding to a stop just a few feet away from his heart as he's startled by Patton's reaction to him. "...Patton?" The man was facing away from him but upon hearing his name had jerked his head to the side, too quick and unnatural that Roman swears he hears his bones crack. Patton shuffles to turn around, looking more like a puppet on strings then a human being and Roman has to fight the urge to back away.

Wide brown eyes that the prince would normally find adorable stare at him blankly, looking over his form before speaking in a soft voice. "Roman?" It sounds like he's unsure, eyes almost seeing past the prince instead of look at him.

The royal finds his heart in his throat. "Yes, my love." He finds himself speaking carefully, something terrible has happened but he can't tell what. "My heart, are you-" His throat tightens as Patton takes a step towards him, feet dragging along the ground. Something feeling completely off by the way Patton watches him. "Are you alright?" The prince chokes out, he needs to get Patton to safety, perhaps to a doctor too.

Patton only freezes in his spot when asked that question, only two feet away from his husband. "I've never felt better." He speaks with more energy, a wide grin stretching over his face as he throws himself forward.

Roman barely manages to react fast enough to catch him, caught off guard as his love smashes his lips against his. He's not entirely sure what to do, a sickening feeling in his gut tells him something is horribly wrong but the kiss is so desperate that it breaks his heart, Patton clings onto him too tightly, arms wrapped around his neck and clawing at the back of his shirt. The prince wraps his one arm around his loves back, allowing his love another moment of their embrace before he scoops his other arm under the smaller man's legs and picks him up. Patton gasps and holds on around Roman's neck tightly, pressing his face against his neck. His sigh sents shivers down his spine, the former farmer feeling so cold in his arms.

Now that Roman holds him, he can feel the way Patton trembles. How his entire body seems to be wracked with shivers. "Let's get you home, my dear." Roman holds him closer to his chest. Patton's only acknowledgment is a quick nod as the prince holds his heart closer and starts rushing back to his steed, Patton needed help.


	3. Chapter 3

Patton fell asleep in the prince's arms as they were walking back, it was a relief when the former farmer's eyes finally drifted shut and stopped staring at him, much to Roman's guilty conscience.

Something was even off when Patton slept, body still tense and pained expression written across his face. Roman couldn't figure out what was wrong, his love didn't seem to have any sort of injuries beside some bruised knees and light scratches from what he assumes were just from walking through the brush. He had thought that perhaps Patton had hit his head, surely that could explain the dazed and strange behavior but Roman couldn't find any injuries while running his fingers through the shorter man's hair.

The prince could only suspect something of magical nature when he tried to approach his steed; after so many adventures nearly nothing scared the fierce Majesty but she immediately seemed on edge the moment he and Patton appeared, she had even refused to allow Roman to mount her, going as far as to kick out and run a short distance away when Patton reached out to- Well, Roman had assumed to pet her like his puffball normally would but it almost looked like his love had tried to claw at her, silently hissing when she moved out of reach before going limp in the royals arms once more.

It definitely sent off some warning bells, enough that Roman was almost hesitant to bring Patton home but if anything, his darling genius Logan could most certainly figure out what has cursed their dearheart.

Unfortunately, this meant Roman had to walk, Majesty may have not abandoned him outright but she was keeping a safe distance from her rider. She only gained enough courage to get close after Patton had fallen asleep, following carefully behind Roman but still not allowing him to get on. Roman would normally be offended but he can forgive her this once due to the unnatural situation at hand.

Still, it was a long walk without his steed to carry him.

* * *

Deceit found himself in darkness, one moment Roman's arms around him felt like spears digging into him and the next he was floating almost comfortably on needles. There was a softness around him that he would have appreciated more if every touch to his skin didn't feel like it shot fire through every inch of his false body. He's tempted for a moment to let it drop, to free himself into a less painful form but that's quickly erased from his mind as he hears the click of a doorknob turning.

The creature felt his spine shift and pop as he jerks himself into a sitting position, swaying slightly as he remembers how to balance before looking up at whoever entered the room only to find he couldn't see very well. Deceit was well aware his left eye was blind as an unfortunate side effect of being too out of practice to properly change eye color but his right eye appeared to be blocked by hundreds of thin lines.

"Patton?" A quiet voice calls out. It's not Roman's voice, he can barely make out their figure through the lines, how was he supposed to know who it is? He could feel his lungs burning with panic, they'd know it wasn't Patton if he can't tell who they are, they'll cage him, throw him back to the mirror, save their loved one and leave him to rot for eternity.

Deceit tries to grasp at his face, quickly finding the lines in front of his eyes were tangible and he could move them. There's a burning in his skull as his fingers tangle with the lines and tug, attempting to rip them away so he could see. He hears a voice call out for Patton before his wrist is restrained with burning iron, pins are stabbed through his fingers as something tries to pull his grip away from the lines. He could hear chains rattle as he was dragged down-

"Pattycakes, it's okay. I'm here, okay? Let go of your hair, you- you can grab onto me instead alright?" A deep panicked voice cuts through Deceit's illusion like a knife, his fingers open and tense. The pain on his wrist isn't from glowing shackles but instead, someone's hand that lowers his cramped hand away from his face, the person's other hand comes into view to push the remaining lines- strands of hair out of his face. "There you are, it's okay."

Deceit can see him now, dark hair and eyes that look so tired and concerned. The monster always imagined him in dark shining armor, wrapped in a cloak of shadows from how his former friend had described him. "Virgil." The knight sat beside him on the bed, dressed in loose dark clothing. The creature remembered knights from long ago, they never looked this vulnerable or relaxed but that may have been because they were in the presence of a monster.

"Yeah, I got you. I don't know what happened but you're safe now, alright?" Deceit found himself almost believing it, enough that he let his body fall forward, going limp against the warmth of the knight. "Woah, oh no. Please tell me you didn't faint!" Arms were wrapped around Deceit and kept him close to the other male.

"I didn't faint." Deceit mumbles against the skin of Virgil's collarbone. The grip the knight has on him stings and sends painful sparks of electricity through his muscles but the heat and reassurance of the gentle grip outweigh the cons.

Virgil sighs softly, moving slowly until Deceit is laying down again and he can shift under the thick fabric covering them. Deceit doesn't think he's ever been so warm in his existence, having another presence so close and relaxed with him made his heart beat faster in a way that didn't strike fear through his being. The knight had his arms around Deceit, keeping his head tucked under Virgil's chin and against his chest.

Deceit never thought being restricted in any way would be soothing but with fingers untangling knots in his hair and the gentle rhythm of the knight's heartbeat, the monster found himself letting go of the tension he constantly held and allowed himself to simply ache in the comfort of another's grip.

"Logan and Roman have been going crazy since you came back." The creature could feel the vibrations of Virgil's voice through his chest. "Roman said you were acting strange and we couldn't get you to wake up, doctor said there's nothing physically wrong with you beside some bruises." Virgil's grip around him gets tighter as the knight presses a kiss to the top of his head. "I walk into you finally awake but trying to rip out your hair. Pat, what happened? Are you okay?" Virgil was shaking slightly, Deceit could feel the tremors through his body.

He must not be as good of an actor as he remembers being, not when he's gone so long without ever having a body. "I'm okay now, kiddo." The monster answers simply, hoping he'll lift a little suspicion if he uses the pet name Patton used all the time.

He supposes it works a little because Virgil's form shakes slightly as he chuckled. "You know, somehow that's not very comforting." The other takes a deep breath and squeezes Deceit lightly, it takes a lot of willpower not to make a noise at being constricted. "We have to know what's going on but... It can wait until the others are were, okay? I kinda just need to hold you for now if that's cool."

How could Deceit even think to refuse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, i can't wait until this mess catches on fire.
> 
> I'm a sucker for happy endings but there's a part of me that debating on if Deceit should get one in this story or if i should laugh at the pain i'll cause myself and probably others.  
> what do you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit feels bad for screwing over his friend but not bad enough to actually do anything about it and Logan deals with trying to get his creepy husband back to bed while also feeling guilty for thinking his husband is creepy.

Deceit's feet drag as he paces through the castle halls, walking has become much easier over the course of the past week as he adjusted to actually having a body to move around in. Despite having very little memories of before his time in the mirror, it still felt strange to use legs instead of slithering across the floor with a tail he hasn't felt in ages. The first few days were the worst, each step felt like walking on glass but now the pain becomes numb after about an hour of walking. Every time he stops it starts up again but at least it's not constant like the fire that boils his skin every time the fabric of his clothing shifts.

Logan had been able to sense magic from him but fortunately, the scholar seems unable to place what exactly he's doing, all of them seem convinced their poor little Patton is suffering from some curse. Deceit supposes that they aren't wrong, but they're looking in the wrong place.

Which leads to why he's shuffling around, the others wanted to go and search the fortress and its surrounding area for clues as to what is plaguing their sweet Patton and Deceit couldn't discourage them without seeming suspicious so he'd need to get used to walking on his feet so he would just have to head out there before them. He just needs to get there and hide the mirror and everything will be fine, the moment he was away from the city he could drop the false body and move faster without pain.

Reasonably, Deceit should really just shatter the mirror. He's sure that if it broke then there's no way that the monster could be trapped in there ever again even if he was caught but...

But Deceit doesn't know if he could let his friend go.

Maybe the shattering of the mirror would kill Patton, that would be more merciful the leaving him to lose his mind in the emptiness like Deceit did but what if it didn't? What if he destroyed it and his friend was just trapped in the nothingness with no way to look out or chance of saving.

Maybe Deceit could find a way to save him. Roman is of the Royal family, there could be some record of the magic used to seal the creature but that would risk revealing himself and-

Could Patton forgive him? Would his husbands spare him for masquerading as their love? If he did help his friend then would he still be allowed freedom or would they slay him the moment he dropped the farmer's face? Would Logan keep him alive to study him as he may very well be the last of his kind? Would Roman be like his ancestors and keep him as a weapon, torturing him into submission or would Virgil immediately strike him down in a protective rage?

Was Deceit a good enough being to risk that for the innocent life of his friend?

Probably not.

"Patton! There you are." The monster turned slowly towards the voice, now that his mind isn't as clouded he realizes how much his jerk movements made others uncomfortable. "You really can't keep roaming around like this, you need rest." Logan rushes up to him looking fairly frazzled, Deceit watches those blue eyes flicker over his form for any signs of harm.

Logan had immediately known something was off and didn't have the tack to not mention it like Roman, he'd immediately sensed magic coming from the imposter. Deceit put on a smile, standing up a bit straighter and containing a wince as his spine pops loudly but he quickly laughs it off. "Looks like your old pops is really popping!"

The joke makes Logan look sufficiently less worried but Deceit could still see the concern in his eyes as he sighs. "Don't deflect, you're supposed to be in bed until we can figure out what's wrong with you." The scholar reaches out and takes Deceit's hand in his, all the creature could do is grin and bear the way it felt like fiery pins were digging into his skin. "I can tell you're in pain, Patton. Please, just let us take care of you."

The torture is worth the way his heart melts right there. "Kiss me." Deceit demands without really thinking. "Kiss me first and I'll go back to bed." It near agony to just lay in one room after so long of imprisonment but he considers this a fair trade.

Logan, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. Patton's hand didn't hold the same weight or warmth as it usually did, the scholar could feel how his partner's fingers would spasm slightly every time the hand holding Patton's shifts even the barest amount. He couldn't understand what was wrong, had no idea why his husband wouldn't tell him anything but if a kiss was all it took to keep Patton in close range then he would fight against the nagging at the back of his mind.

Logan uses his free hand to cup his husband's face, taking note at how Patton's eye twitches with the even his gentlest touch of skin before closing his eyes and leaning down to kiss the shorter man.

It's stiff and awkward, Patton's unnaturally still for a long second before he surges forward to deepen the kiss... Except he doesn't really, the shorter man more just mashing their face together in some desperate attempt of contact but it's very obviously not knowing how to move to achieve the desired effect, which Logan knows isn't true from experience with his husband.

There's a tight feeling in the scholar's throat when he finally has enough and pulls away, straightening his back once more and forcing himself to keep his husband's eyes. Patton's honey brown are nearly black with how wide his pupils have dilated, it would be cute to see such a reaction from not even a good kiss if it weren't so... Unnerving.

That thought settles like a rock in his gut, weighing down heavily with guilt. Patton is suffering from some unknown magic, he's currently hiding how much pain he's in very well and seems desperate for any sort of affection he can leech off his partners. Logan should be happy to give him any sort of relief he can, should be concerned and doting over Patton like a good husband but instead...

Instead, Logan just wishes Patton would stop staring at him.

"Let's get you to bed."

"Do you have time to read to me?" Patton's been making that request a lot lately, asking him to read or Roman to sing to fill the silence. The only one who escapes this request is Virgil but the knight didn't hesitate to crawl into bed and hold Patton like he did which only added to the guilt.

"Of course, I always have time for you."

Logan needs to figure out what's wrong and fast, everything has been lead to a dead end so far but there's no obstacle that the scholar wouldn't cross if it meant he could have Patton back to normal

without too wide smiles and constant pain written in his staring eyes.

There is always a solution to a problem, Logan just must not be looking in the right places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got one comment asking for more and I was like "Shit, alright."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit's hungry and the boys come up with a few theories as to what's up with their husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied Animal death, some more creepy shape-shifting, and discussions of demons and mind control,

Deceit swears that once upon a time he was a better actor then this, he barely remembers it but he knows there was once a time he could replace someone without raising suspicions. He could slide in and out of someone's life without them even realizing they were in the presence of something much greater than them.

He's fairly certain that sort of cockiness is what got him captured, what got him used and tortured. The monster doesn't remember it much but if he focuses he can feel some of the scars rise from under his false skin but he only did that once as it left him feeling itchy and scratching at himself felt like he was slicing knives through his flesh. He's already forcing himself to endure pain, he best not put himself through more than he has to.

A true issue to his situation, besides Patton's husband's suspicion, was a much more physical need.

In the mirror, Deceit never had to eat. Whatever magic kept him trapped held his body in a sort of stasis that kept him from experiencing any sort of sensation, hunger included.

Now there's this emptiness inside him, one that aches with something he actually can fix but doesn't have the means to as everything he tried to consume wouldn't even take the edge off. He hadn't planned this out, hadn't even remembered or he would have tried hunting before wearing Patton's skin.

Don't get him wrong, Logan has been making sure he ate a healthy amount of food each day but the problem laid in the fact that a healthy amount for a human is nowhere near enough for Deceit to satisfy the gnawing inside him. If this keeps up then he'll need to shed this skin to retain more energy and one could see how that would pose a problem.

It doesn't help that Virgil's been keeping a close eye on him, while Deceit appreciates not being left alone it turned out quite troublesome when he needed to sneak off and that's not to mention that Roman has instructed that Patton not be allowed to leave castle grounds without an escort.

But this isn't Deceit's first time in the castle, even if things have all changed since then and his memory is foggy, there's still bits and pieces that spark up when he sees something familiar. Small things that he's forgotten like a conversation between him and an unrecognizable maid, the warmth of a sunbeam giving him thoughts of the bars of a window in a far too cold cell, the way a worn stone could be pushed in just right-

And the wall opens up to a stairway that leads down under the floor.

There are secret passages all throughout the castle, Deceit remembers slithering through them while being chased. That one is a strange memory as it is playful unlike most of the visions that take him, the monster moved slower than he could to allow someone young to catch him. As Deceit trails his fingers along the old brick of the pathways he can almost hear the laughter, the way that he could wear in his own skin in the dark and whoever this child is would be not afraid but excited to scooped up in his many arms.

Most of Deceit's memories are flashes of pain and shackles, of whips and scalding metal.

That moment of warmth that fills him is cherished.

But that's not why he's down here, it's not why he limps through the halls following a breeze in hopes that it'll lead him where he needs to go. It takes far too long to reach the exit, it's likely that Patton's partners are already aware of his absence but how can he care when he hears the distressed sound of a horse not too far from him.

The poor animal sensed his presence long before Deceit emerged from the overgrown hatch in the ground. It seems its owner left it unattended and ties up to post, the monster can see how the poor thing struggles with its bound reigns, the desperately frightened noises it makes while kicking out only draws the beast in closer.

The shape shifter's bones crack as his fingers change from smooth skin and dull nails into claws, jaw aching as his teeth start extending into razor-sharp fangs. It reignites the fire under his skin, reminding him how unnatural and cramped everything feels in his body but his grievances are pushed to the side and he lunges for his prey's neck.

* * *

"We can't keep doing this." Roman finally breaks the silence, he's been working with Logan to pour over books all while sending out letters to various people in hopes of reaching some sort of solution. Currently, they were searching through the rare magic section of the royal archives that his darling mother so graciously gave them all access to. "I'm not sure if Patton even knows what's going on that this point."

"He has to know something, he's just not saying anything." Virgil watches them while sitting on top of one of the archive's tables. "What's going on that he can't tell us? I mean he never really talked about why he kept going out to that place, maybe this has been going on for years? He's been going there since he was a kid, what if it only just started getting really bad?"

"We can't know that for sure, Virgil." Logan only slightly glances up from his scroll to share a sympathetic look with the knight. "While we can't rule out the possibility just yet, it's unlikely that a place he's been visiting for so long only just now started to affect him."

"Wasn't there like a battle there though?" The knight tugged on the sleeves of his shirt. "Maybe he found something he shouldn't have while exploring or maybe he got possessed by some old ghost that only now got powerful enough. Ro and him had a fright right before he left, maybe- maybe those bad feelings having it strength?"

"Possession would explain his creepy and weird twitchiness." The prince mutters while flipping through a tome that he can't even understand. "He recognized me immediately though, a demon strong enough to keep our dear heart's memory intact wouldn't bother playing along or would be playing along much better."

"A demon also wouldn't be reacting to pain the way Patton is." The scholar rubs are his forehead and Roman winces in sympathy for what is likely another migraine on the raise his nerd's pretty head. "I would also be able to pinpoint the type of magic a demon uses, this is something I've never felt before."

Virgil sighs, rubbing under his eyes in a way that tells Roman the knight hasn't been sleeping well but then again, none of them have been. "What if it's mind control? Pat in pain could be him trying to break it, it would explain why he can't tell us anything." Now that's a heartbreaking thought, their poor husband trapped in his own head.

Logan pauses his search, biting his lip in that cute way he always does when he's thinking. "Usually mind control magic is centered around the head and much harder to detect but an interesting theory we can't disprove just yet." The scholar sets down the scroll and leans over his notebook, writing down the new theory. "If that's the case, however, then what is the goal of the person controlling him?"

"Well, he is married to the heir to the throne," Roman says while holding back a shudder at the idea that someone was harming his loves to get to him. "It could be a number of power-related things."

"But surely they would see that their magic is failing to completely control Patton and that we are actively searching for a reason."

"Yeah, we straight up told Patton we're going to find out how to help him." The knight supplies. "Wouldn't they have done something by now if they just wanted power? Playing the long game has already failed so they're either stupid or they're planning something else."

"Let's put a pin in that for a moment." Logan closes the tome and leans back in his chair as Logan speaks. "Let's review what we know for sure." The scholar flips back several pages in his notebook. "We know that Patton was found near the old fort in a daze, animals have shown great unease around him."

"So have people." Virgil cuts in. "The guards have been reporting that he doesn't even acknowledge they exist anymore when he's walking around." None of them want to bring up the fact that they've also felt this unease.

"He responds well to affection, at least?" Roman tries to look on the bright side. "He's always readily basking in our presence." Creepy staring and all.

"He also responds to every touch like he's in pain, he doesn't engage in conversation with anyone but us."

The knight huffs in slight amusement. "Patton hissed at the Queen yesterday. She touched his shoulder for his attention and he looked like he was gonna bite her."

"Oh great, you're rubbing off on him." Roman groans, draping his arm over his eyes. "I already have to deal with two biters and Remus isn't nearly as fun as you."

"Yeah right, have you seen your mother? I couldn't bite at her to save my life. I'm glad to know you seem to like it though."

Logan only nods sagely and ignores the flushing prince's sputtering reply. "Hopefully this doesn't mean he's growing hostile towards people, while that would help in narrowing down the search I'd much prefer if no one was harmed."

Suddenly the small lightness in the air was smothered once more. "Patton would never forgive himself if we hurt anyone." Roman let his arm fall limp at his side, staring up at the tiles in the ceiling. The prince can't imagine what Patton must be going through. If it's so unnerving to watch then it much be ten times as scary to experience first hand.

The silence in the air is heavy but Virgil cuts through it like the skilled swordsman he is. "Then let's make sure he doesn't get that bad." The knight hops down from off the table, moving further back into the archives to help with there search and thus inspiring both Roman and Logan to continue as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am lowkey angry because I wrote an entirely different chapter then this with like Virgil and Deceit but I had to move it to the side because like by the end of it Virgil had just freaking figured out that Patton wasn't Patton and like I'm not that angry because I can just use it later but I had to rewrite a new chapter five which took me multiple tries to get something that feels right


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit sheds his skin before visiting an old friend.

Stone, brick, wood, wood, brick, stone.

Deceit trails his fingers along the buildings as he passes them, different textures feeling like needles under his fingertips. There's blood caked under his nails, dull useless human nails attached to too cold fingers in the unfamiliar shape of Patton's.

Deceit never noticed how his hands trembled until now, too lost in the daze of exhaustion and pain but now his mind is sharper. His good eye darts around at the slightest movement as he slinks through back alleyways along the outskirts of the city and sticks to shadows, moving on instinct and blurry memories.

_They found him, he saw him, get out of the city, get out, get out, get out, Deceit can hear the stomping of soldiers right behind him as he ran_.

Except that's not real, flickering torches make shadows dance and play into his paranoia but the monster knows that no one saw or is coming for him just yet. Patton's husbands likely know he's missing but they have no reason to suspect he's made it this far into the city already.

It's going to come back to bite him, Deceit knows this. He wasn't thinking when he left, his head too fuzzy with pain to even check his surroundings. Someone could have seen him enter the secret passage in the castle, he's sure he wasn't followed at least as he doubts many would just silently watch him devour a horse. Deceit wonders briefly if he should just cut his losses and run while he can, Patton's husbands already suspect somethings wrong and it while they can't identify his magic yet it's only a matter of time before they realize what he is

but Deceit has always been selfish, has always wanted things he shouldn't have. It leads to his undoing and it likely will again, at the very least it seems Roman doesn't have the magical understanding his ancestor did.

Getting to the forest is harder then he remembers, mostly because of how the treeline is no longer right against the cities walls. Instead, once he slips past the guards he walls along the path surrounded by open fields of wheat. It's comforting and unnerving, the place where barbed netting dug into his skin had no stain of blood against the trees, just dull golden plants in the moonlight.

Deceit only finds relief when he finally arrives at the edge of the forest, a canopy of leaves shielding the sky from view and leaving him feeling more covered, less out in the open where anything could charge at him.

This is where he feels the first crack in his skin, unbearably itchy but the creature ignores the urge to claw as he steps into the darkness of the forest. His arm spasms as the cracks spread and flake away, dead tan skin peeling back. Deceit has to pause to breathe, each crack felt like fire but it slowly relieved the pressure and he can only ignore is so long. The monster collapses onto his knees and claws at his chest, gripping at the edges and pulling open until he's able to push forward and emerge from his fake skin.

The skin that resembled Patton crumples like paper as Deceit feels like he can breathe for the first time, his skin sensitive and cold in the night air but as he falls forward into the dirt there is no pain and crawling forward frees his lower half from its restrictions. His true form feels foreign to him and takes him a moment to figure out. He's able to push himself up and stare at his hands, two pairs of them, covered in soft green scales that line his thin long fingers. From his pushed up position, Deceit's hair falls over his shoulders and nearly touches the ground below him, straight and long and filled with tangles so unlike Patton's curls which he had gotten used to seeing.

It's wrong, his entire body feels wrong as he flexes too many fingers into the dirt and feels the grains. It's so wrong but it doesn't hurt, it doesn't shoot lightning up his spine and makes him want to just writhe, to curl in on himself and just be because he doesn't know of a time where he wasn't in agony. The shapeshifter finds himself choking on his own breathe as tears run down his cheeks, leaving cold streaming trails of just pure relief, the sobs the wrack his form leave him breathless but at least his lungs don't feel crushed in his chest anymore. Deceit lets himself fall to the side, shivering from chills as he tries to pull his legs up only to find a long serpent tail instinctively coming up to wrap around him.

A watery laugh escapes him. "That's why it was so difficult to balance." A stranger's voice comes from him, silky smooth and deep tones that rumble in his chest. "I was never meant for walking."

The monster lays there, embracing his true form and choosing to just exist for now, floating on a high he didn't know he could reach in this silent forest until daylight peaks through the leaves above him and spreading a gentle warmth through him. Only then does he find the motivation to move, it's a slight challenge but slithering comes much more naturally to him and soon he's able to race past the trees with a new found freedom.

He's almost tempted to stay like this, to disappear as himself and never return. Almost.

* * *

Patton is floating.

Within what felt like the first few minutes of being in this place his limps went numb, looking down he could still feel his hands and move his fingers but no matter what he did he couldn't feel any part of himself. The farmer caught in suspension with only a small window to the outside world that only gives him the view of a dark room he could barely even see.

"I want to go home." The man's voice comes out muffled and barely there, even in his own ears. "Please." He'd be crying if he could but tears never form, no matter how much he just wants to let them out and cry. "Please!"

His pleas are met with silence.

It's so long before something finally comes, or maybe it's not long at all. It could be minutes or weeks or years and Patton can't tell but eventually, something comes from the darkness and the man's heart stops.

The very being that trapped him in this place comes crawling through the half-collapsed door. "You're back!" Patton didn't know whether to be relieved or worried. "We can talk about this, noodles. Please." The farmer tries to beg, the playful nickname feeling all sorts of wrong after what it did to him. The thing he had considered a friend once just stared at him from behind the glass, ignoring his cries as it's yellow eye glowing in the darkness. Patton is just happy it's not wearing his face anymore.

"I use to be much better than this, you know." It finally speaks and Patton winces slightly, it's words vibrate through Patton's skull as the first actual sounds he's heard in who knows how long leaves his ears ringing. "I use to be able to replace people without anyone batting an eye. I suppose I've gotten rusty." It moves forward and Patton wants to move back but the mirror keeps him rooting in place. "Your husbands love you dearly, barely sleeping as they try to figure out how to help 'you.'"

"Let me out, kiddo. If I can talk to them-"

"I can't hear you, remember?" It leans forward over the mirror. Patton watches it reach forward with a bit of hope only to have it crushed as the creature's six arms only grab onto the edges of the mirror, careful to not actually touch any of the glass and giving the farmer no actual escape. "I wish I knew how to get what we both want, Patton." It's eyes shine with tears, even now something pangs in the man's heart, something that makes him reach out and put a hand against the glass.

"There is a way. Tell them the truth, they can help us both." He speaks knowing his words won't reach it- them. Patton looks over them again, this time with fresh eyes and he can see the scars that litter their too skinny body. He can see patchy places where there should be scales along their tail but instead scared fleshy skin. "We can help you, buddy." He puts on a smile, it's sad and weak and it doesn't work.

"I have to move you, they want to search this place to find out what happened and I can't let them find you." The creature speaks more to themself this time, the outside world shifts as they pick up the mirror but Patton feels nothing but the crushing his of hope. "I remember a waterfall, let's see it's still around. That should keep the quiet at bay, the silence really is the worst part."

"It's to the east, up the river." Patton tries but his own voice barely sounds like anything even inside the mirror, he had no doubt that the creature doesn't even notice him trying to talk.

The silence really is the worst part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda sad that I don't know how to work in Remus because I just imagine this one scene where Remus is being a little hoe and he goes over to "Patton" and gives him a spider so now Deceit is like "Thanks???" and they just stand there for a second because Remus is just "Uh..." and then Deceit suddenly remembers Patton's scared of spiders and is just like "Oh shit-" and in his panic he just eats the spider out of instinct.
> 
> But this fic has this serious vibe to it so that doesn't fit well so like maybe I'll make a little side one shot of it lmao.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a rough one babs
> 
> Warnings: Descriptions of torture and Deceits shapeshifting which is gross and painful, angst heavy chapter, panic attack at the end there

Deceit knows he's digging his own grave by putting this off as long as possible, he didn't even plan to be gone the whole night but now he's been missing almost an entire twenty-four hours as the evening all too quickly approaches. Patton's husbands have surely noticed his disappearance and were looking for him by now, the creature should have returned sooner, should be rushing through the trees to get back as soon as possible but instead, Deceit slithers among the foliage hesitantly as a horrible feel churns in his gut.

The temptation to flee is strong, perhaps he could just steal Patton away and leave this kingdom behind. He wouldn't need to shift himself into a far too small form, wouldn't have to deal with every touch feeling like hot coals under his skin, wouldn't have to carefully dance around people that would hate him.

But what would he be if not Patton? Most of his memories are full of pain and torture anyway, he traces his thin fingers along scars on his wrists where heated iron cuffs had cooled in his flesh and kept him trapped in agony for days until the king ordered them to be heated up once more to be removed.

For a moment he can imagine the face of a teenager, both scared of him and for him, sneaking into his cell with a bowl of soup that warmed him up softly instead of the harsh burns that the adults left. Naive eyes that apologized for not being able to do more before they fled from the dark and left Deceit in silence.

Deceit didn't want to be that frightened and suffering creature again, the vague memory of a child that's likely long dead isn't enough to touch whatever heart he may have left.

How could even compare when he can still hear Logan's soft voice lulling him into empty dreams? How Roman would sit by his head and hum songs in a voice that shook him to his very core or Virgil laying beside him while running fingers through his curly hair as his heartbeat too fast to be normal? All those memories are fresh and right there, laced with a pain worth more then any treasure the creature could find.

Patton had a family, full of love and gentle concern.

Deceit has nothing.

Patton would only have to say the word and his three husbands would move the sun for him.

Deceit has no one.

Patton had a friend trapped in a mirror to rant and spend silent company with.

Deceit was left alone in silence until Patton decided he was bored enough to finally come visit him.

Deceit was always left behind, Patton left him. Deceit wept the first time his fingers interlocked with Patton's, Patton sat there until he let go and never tried to pull him out.

The realization sinks into Deceit's gut like stones in a river.

No one knew Deceit existed, they didn't know to look for him or suspect that he was the reason Patton could be acting weird. Patton never told his husbands about why he went to the fortress deep in the woods, never told them that he had a friend there, never mentioned to the crown prince that the fortress of his ancestor still held a prisoner.

Patton did nothing to help Deceit.

Deceit's skin shifts and tightens around his muscle, squeezing his form as he kept moving forward. There's a splitting pain along the spine of his tail as it slowly shrinks, making him stumble as it splits in two.

Patton didn't even try to help him.

His flesh burned as skin grew over his scales and bones shifted to a familiar stature. The clothing he was wearing reappear on his body once it's settled, lighting up his nerves like fireworks as he keeps moving forward.

Deceit remembers a boy stumbling into an empty cold room, curious eyes on a mirror quickly turn into fear as something desperate pounds against the glass. Could Deceit blame him? No.

The creature remembers a young man coming as often as possible, eagerly filling the silence and keeping his friend company through one-sided conversations. How could Deceit be angry at that? He can't.

A monster remembers someone with connections to the very family that trapped it and likely had the power to free it, coming to visit every so often to talk about how great his life is.

Deceit is feeling something, something that aches more than his missing arms and feels more crushed then his rib cage. It stabs through him harsher then the shots of pain he gets with each step on legs that shouldn't be his and it leaves him feeling colder than the burning ice that is his faux skin.

He's not even angry really, he knows anger, he spent what must have been decades just screaming in rage at the injustice of his existence. He's struggled against binds and lashed out at the closest person to try and get his pound of flesh, to claw an eye or rip out a tooth. This isn't anger, it's something empty that hurts far deeper. It's his mournful crying as he's left freezing in a cell, it's his silent acceptance of the fact that the child he had loved as his own would never come to see him again, it's the numbness of his hands as his blood flow is cut off, it's the tears streaming down his face-

Oh, he's crying again.

It shouldn't be that surprising, he cried the night before when he finally felt relief from the endless pain. It makes sense that it would happen again when he forced himself to endure it again. It made sense that his legs gave out just as he reached the side of a road, it's expected when he leans against a tree and tilts his head up to a sky he can barely see with his half-blind eyes.

His ears ring and his throat throbs as he releases a scream that's been building up inside him, sounding more like a wounded beast than anything human but he doesn't care. It doesn't matter when he's alone just like he's always been, just like in the mirror his cries are met with nothing, the forest is silent around him and he finds himself tearing at his hair as he just lets it out, screeches and sobs and every mournful cry echos through the trees and scares away anything that wasn't already frightened by Deceit's presence alone.

He's alone, it doesn't matter, he's always been alone, the few that were there are liars, he's alone, he's alonehesalonehesalonehesalwaysbeenalone-

There's a large hand grasping his shoulder-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters never go the way I plan them because like ideas hit me out of nowhere and then we just get this which I wrote instead of sleeping.
> 
> jebus, I don't know where this is going anymore but I'm sticking around for the ride(I kinda have to, I'm the one driving.)


End file.
